Busted Racquet

A couple days ago, I thought life was making a turn around. A couple of people talked to me, people, who had been such a big part of my life, people who I had missed for so long.

And then today, just one relapse in something I’m trying to eventually quit, and how hard does life hit me in the balls? So hard. The Celtics lose in a heartbreaking way, and that hurts me so much, that I go out and do something stupid. 

Always remember, life sucks. 

So a crazy thing just happened to me when watching How I Met Your Mother. A little sidenote, I’ve been watching the show like a maniac over the past week. Very addicting show that kind of makes you realize things about life that you don’t think about. Yeah, I know it’s a reality series, which it’s objective is to get people to tune in to get money because they make it seem similar to real life of people in that age. But hey, based on real world experiences every day that we overlook, those things happen everyday. That’s why we watch reality television shows, to believe. We just never think of those things. Which is why things like tumblr exist and are fucking awesome. But anyway, that’s human society. We over magnify the negative and play down the positives. That’s just the way humans are built. 

The revelation just kind of changed my whole mind of thinking really. Crazy again to say it happened from a TV show and not a real world experience, but hey it happened alright. It happened in the season 4 premiere of How I Met Your Mother. Barney Stinson, played by the incredible actor Neil Patrick Harris, who has deservedly won so many fucking Emmy’s for his performance, is a, as he describes himself, womanizing idiot who sleeps with women all the time without ever feeling emotional attachment. But then, it happened. He finally fell in love with Robin, who well, how can you not fall in love with her. She’s fucking awesome, incredibly beautiful, loves cigars and drinking scotch, a gun enthusiast and has guy emotions. And it made me realize, that hey look, this guy isn’t perfect. Nobody is. But as with all other humans, all have their fatal flaws, but we can do one thing that makes life worth living, and cancels out all our mistakes: we can love. 

People have to make mistakes, because life couldn’t be perfect if there was no mistakes. The negatives in life are what makes the positives in life that much better. Yes, I know that there are people out there who are just fucking crazy and want to watch the whole world burn and are evil. But most of us out there are good people who all want the same thing: love. Say what the fuck you want about how cliche it is, but it’s true. Nobody really has a desire to want to spend the rest of their life completely independent, without companionship. Marriage is desired by everyone. Why is marriage desired? Because humans must love. That is part of us. That is why we’re allowed to exist for all our unbelievably retarded mistakes that we make. Through all the hard things life throws at us. It’s a test, to see how much do you want to love. Because money truly does not buy happiness. Love is happiness. Love is the reward, the great positive, for all the negative shit we have to go through on a pretty normal basis. Life throws curveballs at you and sometimes it can’t be fair. But it’s basically like this. Life can knock you down, but it’s up to you to keep on getting up. 

Which is why I’ve finally changed the way I think about life now. Incredible that it comes after watching something on TV, but hey it’s true. TV series do a shockingly good job of making you realize things, that’s why we watch em. As a person I’m thankfully much more appreciative of what I have, than what I don’t. I finally stopped being a pessimist. I’m an optimist. And it’s the greatest thing in the world. A lot of things that life throw at me, will test that recent switch, but it’s up to me to keep on getting up. You just have to believe in humanity and that things will turn around. Because faith is often rewarded. Otherwise, good things would never happen to us and we wouldn’t will to live. Yes it’s true that life can be unfair, but that’s what makes it so sweet for fighting it out and being able to love. And I’m not just talking about marriage, it includes love of your children and even friends. Tragedy will always rear it’s ugly head. But miracles overcome it, because they exist due to humans over powering will to love. 

I have a lot of things going wrong for me right now, I’m a lousy, lazy kid who is not ready at all to grow up in the real world, I don’t have much money, I haven’t had a girlfriend in 3 years, and to top it off, I’m not that good at my major, Computer Science. Oh, combine that with the fact that I make incredibly stupid stupid decisions, that are so dumb that they top the dumbest decisions you’ve made by 10. I really don’t know where I’m going in life, I have no direction, no plan, like Ted Mosby. And yet, I still fight the good fight because I love my friends and my family. My best friends, who I spent my birthday with yesterday night. My family, who is going through the roughest time in years with the passing of my grandmother. I love them all, and that is the reason I fight through the shit I do every day. Just like all humans do. And that’s why I’m an optimist and I believe in humanity. Crazy all this came from watching How I Met Your Mother. But that’s life, weird shit happens. 

The stage. The drama. The tension. Champagne on ice. One team with their heart pumping, praying to erupt over the dugout in celebration. The other, down to their last strike, their miracle season down to their last strike.

This game had it all, from horrible feeling, bad starting pitching, timely hitting, bullpens being completely taxed, and in the moments where their heart rates are jacked, some unbelievable timely hitting.

Texas seemed ready to pop the champagne with their flamethrowing closer Neftali Feliz on the mound in the ninth with a 2-run lead. He had only allowed 1 run in his last 17 innings pitched. And Albert Pujols, possibly his last at-bat as a Cardinal. He doubles. Berkman walks. And the hometown hero David Freese hits a 98 mile per hour fastball (98 MILES PER HOUR) the other way over the outstretched arm of Nelson Cruz off the ball, tying the game sending St. Louis into a frenzy. Keep in mind, Freeze is at THIRD. Game still going. The Rangers managed to escape as the next batter, Molina, flied out to end the inning.

After my heart rate was jacked and I was starting to realize the unreality of what just happened, I looked up and I hear Joe Buck calling a 2-run home run by Hamilton. Hamilton, so injured, possibly having a sports hernia, somehow having the power to hit a home run. And the Cardinals closer, who also blew Game 2, pitched the ball in the only place Hamilton could really drive the ball, down and in. All of a sudden, champagne’s on! Ron Washington and the Rangers have their swagger back and all calm is restored as they are ahead by 2 runs on the cusp of winning the franchise’s FIRST EVER World Series. 

Ron Washington had to go with the safe choice of not bringing back his closer Neftali Feliz for the tenth inning. Feliz had thrown a lot of pitches, and if he pitched another inning, and failed again, he would not be able to pitch in Game 7. However, if he closed the deal, like he so often does, the celebration is on for a state that would have won back-to-back championships (the Dallas Mavericks won the NBA Finals). Instead, 41-year old ageless Darren Oliver, who first started out in the majors with Texas in 1993 is called into pitch. That’s right, pitched in the league for eighteen years! Can’t really fault Ron Washington for this decision, as there were 2 lefties coming up and the pitcher batting third, because the Cardinals had no offensive players on their bench left.

Instead, Oliver gives up two singles by pinch-hitter Daniel Descalso (who?) and Jon Jay who had done nothing in the World Series before tonight mind you, but just happens to come up with 2 hits. 2 on, nobody out, and a PITCHER has to bat. The Cardinals bring in their best bunting pitcher, Kyle Lohse, who almost gets hit on the first pitch. Lohse then executes an unbelievable bunt that advanced the runners to 2nd and 3rd with one out. A fluky great bunt. The next batter, Theriot drives in a run with a ground out. Pujols is up, with a man on 2nd, and 2 outs. The last hope. This is the way it’s supposed to end, Pujols win it with a walk-off home run. That’s what my mind was imagining anyways. Ron Washington did what any manager should and would have done, and rightfully intentionally walked Albert Pujols. 1st and 2nd with 2 outs and red-hot Lance Berkman comes up to the place. Berkamn down to his last strike, muscles an RBI single into center and the game is tied, at 9, again. The Rangers blow it, again, after the champagne was on ice, again, after being down to the final strike, again. Unfortunately Ron Washington will be criticized for his decision, but he made the right call. You can’t pitch to Pujols. I don’t care how hot Lance Berkman is, you can’t pitch to probably one of the top 10 greatest hitters of all-time in that situation. Hang on, while the game was tied, the Cardinals still have a chance to win the game after! 1st and 2nd with 2 outs and Allen Craig at the dish. Craig, keep in mind, had the game winning pinch-hits in games 1 and 2 off the Rangers best bullpen arm in the previous two series, and had the early blow to put the Cardinals on top with a home run in game 3. Craig then went through an 0-10 stretch, and didn’t start Game 6, because the series being back in St. Louis means no DH. But Craig, pinch-hitting for injured All-Star Matt Holliday, homered in the eighth to make it 7-5. Craig would ground out to end the inning though. 

The Rangers didn’t score in the top of the 11th oddly enough, and made a bizarre move when they pinch-hit for Scott Feldman, leaving only Mark Lowe and Game 5 starter C.J. Wilson (who pitched two days ago mind you) left in the bullpen. Imagine if the game had gone on for multiple innings. Game 7 repercussions as well as having to eventually throw a gassed C.J. Wilson into the game. Mark Lowe was eventually chosen to pitch the bottom of the 11th.

At this point, my thought as Freese came up to start the bottom of the 11th was I hope he ends it, so the Rangers have a shot to not completely tax their bullpen and have a shot in Game 7. At this point, the Cardinals were going to win, no matter what. The Rangers just had no arms left, despite how close they were to winning the championship. And what do you know, David Freese obliged to my request. A mistake in the middle of the zone hammered to dead center by the hometown hero, David Freese.

Ladies and gentleman, this is destiny. Remember, the St. Louis Cardinals were 10 1/2 games back of the wild-card leading Atlanta Braves on August 25th with barely more than a month of games left. They were dead. And yet, the Cardinals became red-hot and finished the month of September with a scorching 23-8 record. That, coupled with the Atlanta Braves’ epic collapse, losing their last-five games, including a three game sweep at the hands of the Cardinal’s eventual NLDS opponent and heavy favorite to win the World Series, Philadelphia Phillies. The Cardinals qualified for the playoffs on the last day of the regular season. They lost Game 1 of the NLDS and had to face postseason legend of the past two years, Cliff Lee in Game 2, while throwing out their beat-up ace Chris Carpenter, on three days rest. They scraped out a win in Game 2 and stole home-field advantage, but dropped it instantly by losing Game 3 and were once again facing elimination. Guess who delivered in Game 4 to send it to a do or die Game 5 in Philadelphia. Oh yeah, that local hometown superhero, David Freese. Then in a match up of two of the greatest pitchers of the last five years, Roy Halladay vs. the aforementioned Carpenter on FULL rest, the result was virtually a coin toss. Halladay shook first in the first inning with heavy nerves and gave up a run. Carpenter never shook in pitching a complete game shutout in Game 5, and advancing the Cardinals to the NLCS. Despite dropping the opening game, the Cardinals were never really bothered by the Brewers, and defeated them in six games due to that incredible Albert Pujols guy playing every game like it was his last as a Cardinal because of his impending free agency. And he didn’t even win MVP, despite hitting over .400 in the series. Why? Because that hometown superhero, David Freese batted over .500 and creamed every ball that the Cardinals needed. 

And now in a World Series, where after winning Game 1 and poised to take a 2-0 lead, their closer blew the game and instead lost home-field advantage, they headed to Texas. They regained momentum, with a 16-7 romp over the Rangers, thanks to Albert Pujols’ “Ruthian” night, arguably the greatest performance ever in a World Series game (5-6 with 3 HOME RUNS!!!!). But in Game 4, they were stymied by Derek Holland and in Game 5, they were stopped by their inability to warm up the correct bullpen pitcher! That’s right, Cardinals manager Tony La Russa called the bullpen to warm up closer Jason Motte to face red-hot Rangers catcher (and probable candidate for World Series MVP if Texas wins this World Series) Mike Napoli. The bullpen coach, misheard the name and warmed up a different reliever. Because the correct reliever had not been warmed up, La Russa stuck with his lefty, who was in the game to pitch to the previous lefty, David Murphy. Napoli kills lefties. On cue, Napoli hits a 2-run double and Texas ends up winning Game 5 and the Cardinals are facing elimination, again. But really, they’ve been facing elimination since August. And that’s why the Cardinals’ resiliency is unbelievable. They’ve been playing elimination games since basically August, and they came from behind FIVE times to tie the game. That’s right. FIVE! After Jaime Garcia (who pitched excellent in Game 2), gave up an early run in the first inning, guess who came up in the clutch again. Lancealot! Lance Berkman hit a 2-run home run to put the Cardinals up 2-1 in the first inning. Texas tied the game however, and took the lead in the 4th when St. Louis’s defense turned against them. Garcia, was pulled after three innings (only giving his team THREE innings in an elimination game, wow), and the Cardinals bullpen had to save their season again. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, that other than Carpenter, the Cardinals starting pitching has been terribly lackluster. Completely opposite with the overwhelming favorite Phillies, who had a starting rotation of the ages, with literally 4 All-star caliber pitchers. 4 aces. 

Left fielder Matt Holliday dropped a harmless fly ball in the 4th, and Texas took full advantage, capitalizing by scoring a run. However, Texas was not immune to the trend of bad defense either as Michael Young (not used to having to play defense) made an error, that led to the Cardinals tying the game at 3 again, in the bottom of the 4th. Again, the Cardinals came right back and tied the game after the Rangers had moved ahead. 

However, David Freese, the hometown hero throughout this postseason, like Holliday, just dropped a casual pop up in the top of the 5th inning, and Michael Young redeemed his error by doubling in Hamilton. St. Louis came back AGAIN, in the bottom of the 6th as Michael Young, who had just redeeemed himself, was back on goat status as he made another error, and the Cardinals tied the game when converted reliever after starter during the season, who had been lights out in the ALDS and ALCS for Texas, walked Molina with the bases loaded. Again, the game is tied at 4. Momentum again, shifted. What a game in the works is what my mind is thinking. In what would be a trend throughout the game, the Cardinals had a chance to take the lead after just tying the game. However, in each of those circumstances, they failed. Rangers star Derek Holland, who saved their season in Game 4, came in and got a ground ball out to end the inning after the bases were loaded.

Right on cue, the Rangers strike back and take the lead AGAIN, when Adrian Beltre (another possible World Series MVP candidate for the Rangers) and Nelson Cruz (who with this home run tied the record for most postseason home runs with his EIGHTH) went for back-to-back solo shots to give Texas a 6-4 lead, and they would eventually add on another run.

The Cardinals started their rally in the eighth with Allen Craig replacing injured Matt Holliday, and then driving a pitch into the left field seats. The Cardinals would then load the bases after three straight singles. However, shortstop Rafael Furcal grounded out to end the threat, sending the game to the ninth with the Cardinals down by two, with three outs left, facing elimination again. Setting the stage, the drama, the tension for the bottom of the ninth inning, and the madness that ensued.

This run by the Cardinals is a Cindarella miracle story, with their icon Albert Pujols and the hometown local hero sidekick David Freese. Kind of makes me wonder if they really are destined to win the World Series. Texas gave everything they’ve had. Carpenter, is likely to start Game 7 on very short rest, where in a similar situation he was battered against Philadelphia. However, this is Game 7. He has to pitch. Lefty Matt Harrison who was pummeled in Game 3 by the Cards’ bats will start for the Rangers. Who honestly has a clue about whose going to win this game. My gut says the Cardinals, because of this run they’re on and they have Carpenter starting. This is the way it’s supposed to end, Pujols wins the World Series and then decides to stay in St. Louis. The city recognizes it’s local rapidly rising superstar David Freese. Lost in this game, were so many critical decisions made by both managers (particularly Ron Washington) that changed the game completely and for Game 7 as well. Also, on a final note, I really love that the NL doesn’t have a DH because it makes all these substitutions, these slight moves made by the manager all that more important. It makes every little decision, so monumental, and that’s what was great about this game. In addition to the great hits by the players, there also had to be a controversial element to the game that makes it the greatest baseball game ever, and this was exactly it. 

No matter what happens tomorrow in Game 7, no matter if it’s a complete blow out, this game stands alone as the climax of a miracle story never seen before in sports by the Cardinals and shows how hard these players try. Take a bow, and appreciate how much players put their ass on the line, doing anything and everything they can, to win. For the Rangers, this is the ultimate test of adversity. I mean, how can you sleep after this game? Hell I’m still awake and I have a 10 AM US history quiz on 3 articles that I haven’t annotated yet, and I did this because I had to watch this game. I can make predictions about what might happen in Game 7, but the truth is I don’t know shit. Nobody knows any shit. Who knows what will happen after seeing everything possible in this game. 

The stakes, this is Game 6 of the World Series, keep in mind. The constant tension. The fact that both managers also had to keep plans for a possible Game 7 in mind leading to critical controversial decisions. The Texas Rangers trying to win their FIRST EVER WORLD SERIES. 

That was without question, the greatest baseball game I’ve ever seen in my life, and I believe in miracles because the Cardinals, whether they win or lose Game 7, gave one last desperate punch to stay alive, after being on the verge of being knocked out. TWICE. Unbelievable. I’m still in awe and it’s two hours after the game has ended. I’ve been writing this post for over an hour. Goddamn I need to sleep. Goodnight. 

tonight when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 finished. Harry Potter was more than just seven books. It was more than eight movies. It was a part of my soul, a part of me. Life will still go on without Harry Potter, and it’s not as if it’s the worst thing in the world. But I’m still nineteen, I don’t quite have perspective yet. And Harry Potter was my childhood. Seeing the movie tonight and having it be the last new Harry Potter event ever, was like taking whatever I had left of my childhood. And thus my sentimental mood, because I feel like a child right now. 

My pre-movie thoughts were this:

“I’m so pumped for Harry Potter. The world that I wish could be real, JK Rowling made it feel real with her books and then the successive movies that followed. It was a world so much better than our own, that made it have so many fans. Harry Potter was my childhood. I started reading the books when I was 9 I think. It was so long ago I don’t even remember. All I know is this is the last Harry Potter new event ever and I’m so sad, I actually want to cry. It’s that amazing. Here comes the last Harry Potter event ever, I’m so excited for what is surely to be the best movie”

My post movie thoughts have nothing to do with the movie. The movie was good, although there were things they could have done within their power that would have made it better. That somewhat saddens me. No mention of the Deathly Hallows in Harry’s conversation with Dumbledore, no mention of Dumbledore’s family. Minor things really, and it also felt a bit rushed. But that doesn’t matter, it was still an excellent movie. My post movie thoughts all have to do with the fact that there is no more new Harry Potter events ever to come. I can’t put into words how much that thought disheartens me. Listening to Lily’s theme from the soundtrack makes it feel that something is gone. And something is gone. My childhood. For 12 years, there’s always been something new with Harry Potter to renew my interest. As there became more and more books and movies, I would get increasingly more excited for the new one, especially as the books became better and better. Each time something new was coming up, I would be excited to go into “Harry Potter mode” and reread all the books and movies prior to its release. I don’t quite know why I would do this, I certainly wasn’t alone, hundreds of people did this. But I felt like I wanted to get wrapped in the world again. This time I did so for the last time. From now on, whenever I decide to reread the books and watch all the movies, there will never be something new to follow afterwards. What was truly spectacular about Harry Potter, is it was a world universally loved by everybody. Everybody loves Harry Potter, how can you not? It’s a magical world JK Rowling created, with magical characters and everything is perfect. There’s not one thing that I would change with the books. It was a true representation of a world that we all wish could be true. So many times I have somehow hoped that I would get a letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and have a half giant break down my door on my birthday and tell me that I am a wizard. 

Tonight, I recognize that a fragment of my heart has been taken with the conclusion of the last Harry Potter movie released. Harry Potter meant something to me, something that I can’t quite describe, or put into words. While it is just a book series, that spawned movies, and it is completely fictional, Harry Potter will forever hold my childhood. It will forever be in my heart, as something that truly cannot be described how amazing it is. That’s how everything that’s amazing in this world is. It’s unbelievable, so unreal that we cannot put it into words. 

P.S. I’m also extremely jealous of Rupert Grint, lucky bastard got to kiss the most beautiful woman Earth has ever seen (before her haircut of course). 

To salute the passing of my childhood, and a fragment of my heart, I have raised my goblet and said “Harry Potter”, like everybody in the Great Hall at the end of the fourth book. I can say nothing more than I am extremely proud to be a huge Harry Potter fan. I don’t give a shit about anybody who calls me “gay” or “homo” for being so sentimental. Whoever thinks that can go fuck themselves. Harry Potter was something that for 10 years, gave me something to look forward to each year, a new movie or a new book. Each of which is amazing and caused hype and anticipation unfathomable inside me. The excitement after reading each book and watching each movie for the first time, is unmatched by any sports team, any movie, anything that’s fictional. Harry Potter may be truly a fictional series, but it was more than that to all of the fans. It was real.

To modify a quote Albus Dumbledore once said, “Harry Potter will never be gone, not as long as there are those who remain loyal to him.” 

Which is true of course. Harry Potter is never going to be gone. I will reread the books, watch the movies again many times in my lifetime, and also visit the Harry Potter theme park at some point in my life. Harry Potter will forever hold a place in my heart, because of its amazingness. Just a fragment has been taken off now that it’s over and there’s nothing new to look forward to. 

I don’t care what anybody else says. There’s nothing quite like Harry Potter that we’ve seen in our lifetime. The amount of extreme Harry Potter fans around the world is astonishing; I am one of them. J.K. Rowling created a world that was so amazing, and blew people away with how she took a simple idea of a world of magic, and expanded it into so much more. Her main characters are also very lovable, and each have their flaws and strengths, and they are very dynamic which makes the books more intriguing. She created the most ruthless antagonist that we’ve seen in a book series, Voldemort, but backed it up by showing his history, and it seemed plausible that he could indeed be that evil. Also, nobody is above mistakes, not even genius wizards like Voldemort and Dumbledore. There is great humor in the books, with the Weasley twins. Each character that is used in the books has a purpose, and that’s what makes the world so lovable and real. There are so many characters throughout the course of the series who fit seamlessly to create the greatest book series of all time, which really cannot be debated, it is. Just look at how many books JK Rowling has sold. JK Rowling managed to create such a great fictional world that enticed so many young boys and girls to cross their fingers and wish that they would get the letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

Which makes tomorrow at 2:30 AM, the worst time for many hardcore Harry Potter fans. At that time, there will never be anything new with Harry Potter. The 7th Harry Potter book was released in 2007. While that was a sad time, to finish reading the last new book, us fans at least had the prospect of 3 more movies to look forward to. Now, there’s nothing. There is the Harry Potter theme park which has been opened, but that doesn’t have quite the same impact as a new movie or a new book. I really hope that JK Rowling decides that she can’t stop with Harry Potter and writes additional books. Whether it’s a prequel with James Potter as the protagonist, or a new threat with Harry Potter significantly older, I don’t care. I just want more. There will never be a book/movie series that will excite me more than Harry Potter does. It’s just…perfect.

ABC Family will air Harry Potter marathons every now and then, and I will still reread the books now and then, but this is the last time that I am reading/watching the movies with something that I’m desperately looking forward to. The hype, the anticipation of tomorrow’s movie for me, is unprecedented. I haven’t felt this excited for something, since well..I went to go see the first part of Deathly Hallows. Harry Potter fans around the world, enjoy the hype, the anticipation, and the movie tomorrow night, for it will be beyond amazing, but it will be extremely sad, because the Harry Potter era comes to an end tomorrow night. 

P.S. JK Rowling, you’ve made me wish about a lot of times that I could have gotten the letter to Hogwarts when I was 11. Then you made me wish that I could have a Time Turner and go back to my 11th birthday again, and get the letter to Hogwarts so I could redo the rest of my life.